DERR – Robert M. MD  May 2, 1965 – February 16, 2024  Beloved husband of Penny (McCluskey) Derr; loving father of Melissa (Dave) Anderson, Grace Derr and Gabby Derr; dearest grandfather of Casper, Brody, Emmett and Oliver Anderson; son of Carolyn Derr and Robert E. (Sue Kilbey) Derr; brother of Scott (Traci) Derr and Fred (Hillary Burr) Derr; also survived by in-laws and many nieces and nephews.  Family will receive relatives and friends at the WENDEL & LOECHER INC. FUNERAL HOME 27 Aurora St. Lancaster, NY Saturday from 1-8 pm.  The family wishes guests wear red in Bob's memory.  In lieu of flowers donations  may be made  the transplanthouseofcleveland.org or the lungtransplantfoundation.org Share condolences at wendelandloecherinc.com

Writing this piece is so much harder than I ever would have expected. Not because there is a lack of wonderful things to say or stories to tell, but, rather, because writing this piece means that it's time for me to move on to the acceptance stage of grief. Like so many, my heart isn't ready.

It's hard to imagine that any one person could have established such a remarkable life legacy in just 58 years, but Bob did. Over the last few days, I have witnessed the most beautiful outpouring of admiration and praise from those remembering the Bob that they knew. Class act, gentle, sincere, compassionate, unforgettable, hilarious, creative, amazing, inspirational, nicest human ever, fun-loving guy, one of a kind, greatest person I've ever known, quality dude, and forever friend are just some of the words used to describe him. Some shared that they remember his calming manner, contagious smile, and kind soul. He was an incredible pediatrician, colleague, mentor, and a dream to work with, said others.

Of all the roles Bob played, a devoted family man was his most cherished. His relationship with his parents and brothers was that from a 1956 sitcom (think "Leave It to Beaver"). You could just feel the love when they're together, and you know that there had to be some epic shenanigans with three boys growing up.

Now, for those of you who don't know me, I am Melissa, and I'd like to share with you a side of Bob that only I was given the honor to know. You see, I am his only bonus child, and he was my one and only bonus dad. The definition of the word "bonus" is something extra that is good. Bob was exactly that. When my mom, Penny, and Bob made it official, I was pretty close to being a legal adult. This is to say that he would have been off the hook when it came to raising me, but he didn't take the out. My mom's soul had been searching for its mate for a long time before it found him. Bob truly was the love of her life, and I know she was his. From the very first time we were introduced, he made me feel welcome and an active part of the new life he and my mama were creating. From including me in the limo ride and celebration after his marriage proposal, to inviting me to move into their home when they relocated to Colorado and started a family of their own, there was never a moment where he didn't embrace the role of bonus dad wholeheartedly.

In 2004, Grace – Bob and Penny's first daughter made the old-fashioned way – added her branch to the family tree. I got to see firsthand what it looks like for a father to be smitten with his baby girl. He was a total hands-on dad who was head over heels in love. Such a proud papa. In 2006, Gabby made her debut as a teeny tiny preemie with a slew of extra medical needs. How lucky was she to have Dr. Bob to call her dad? A world-class pediatrician trained in emergency medicine and a best friend all in one. He became her warrior, always making sure that she got the best of care and was treated well. Drowning in estrogen, Bob was never intimidated. He devoted his life to taking care of all of his ladies. Watching him raise the most beautiful little girls who have fast become intelligent, independent women constitute some of my most treasured memories.

During our stay in Colorado, I met my future husband, and it comes as no surprise that Bob welcomed Dave into our family without hesitation. In 2007, all five of us relocated back to New York where Bob continued to live every day of his life to the fullest. Surrounded once again by all of our extended family and the most amazing friend circle, there was never a lack of celebrating to be done! Whenever you showed up at Bob's house, you could expect to be offered a unique beer or a martini that he had searched up and bought the ingredients for. Costume party? Bob was there! I will always appreciate the privilege to have seen him both as the professional and the family man.

Between 2009 and 2018, Dave and I blessed him (and mama) with four grandchildren. He gracefully and enthusiastically accepted the title of papa at the age of 44. I may have only gotten 20 years with him, but they certainly were the best years. During these years, I grew up a lot, and he was there for me every step of the way. Bailing me out when I needed a helping hand and lending an ear or advice when the situation called for it. There won't be a single day that goes by that I don't wonder why a man with Bob's character and zest for life wasn't afforded the gift of a long life, to share his light with the ones who love him most. It seems to me he earned the privilege.

Throughout his journey of being diagnosed with idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis (IPF), his double lung transplant, and his most recent illness, I know he received every well wish and prayer sent his way. Our family can't express how grateful we are for all of your continued love and support. He fought so hard to stay here with us and that was yet another display of perseverance and dedication to his family. Even on his last day at home, sick as a dog, he was working on making sure that there was a childhood photo of Gabby submitted to the yearbook for her senior year.  There's nothing he wouldn't have done for his girls.

In closing, I ask that you please share that part of Bob that touched your heart with the world and keep his spirit alive. I know I will. As a friend said, "Rest in peace, Dr. Bob. We will take it from here."

Forever and always your bonus daughter,
Melissa